The To-Don’t List

This is what the the future has in store for us. These are really bad ideas in no particular order. The ones we decide are least likely to kill us, will get done, filmed, and reported. Suggestions always welcome.

  • moulin-ing (river tunnels in glaciers)
  • reverse-canyoning
  • ice-canyoning
  • ski-tour across sandy desert
  • celebrate new years in every time zone
  • travel exclusively by vine swinging
  • speedride/paraglide
  • basejump into vertical cave
  • insane rope swings through slots
  • descend big whitewater in a donut
  • big zorb descents
  • inside-out trip (wear an empty backpack with everything that’s supposed to be in it on the outside)
  • antique gear trip
  • banana/monkey chases
  • bungee downhill skiing
  • golfing off the tops of mountains
  • snow kayaking
  • rock skiing (scree slopes and volcanic cinder cones)
  • lava flow surfing or paddleboarding (might need to enjayineer this sumhow)
  • play bocce ball/ice hockey on top of The Table
  • ride cataraft pontoon down bobsleigh track
  • call Cherrios “donut seeds”
  • drink Hell’s Gate beer in Hell’s Gate (and other namesake beers in their respective locations)
  • explore ice caves in glaciers
  • longest swim with crampons and ice tools (wearing waterwings)
  • scuba-suit bushwacking
  • pretending to be mountain goats and climb stuff no hands
  • climb a mountain in a sumo suit
  • fireworks
  • wetsuit skiing
  • snowmobile over whitewater
  • bungee slide Charles creek
  • torpedo down Lions Bay slide on something
  • explore Howe Sound climbing possibilities using floating hot tub (involving lots and lots of beer)
  • canyon swinging or bridge swinging… but a real swing (like a playground swing)
  • river bungee boarding
  • skiing through snow tunnels
  • kite running (very fast running while a power kite is pulling you)
  • Colin has to break trail while pulling Artem on sled
  • try to pick up someone wearing an entire bottle of cologne
  • wrestle at the top of a mountain
  • trip eating only chicken nuggets and “thirst away”
  • get sponsorships from completely irrelevant companies
  • bring only full deli salami, round of cheeze, and a watermelon to a trip
  • chicken fight on top of the Great Pyramid
  • ask for fries without the potatoes and ask for a happy meal with extra happy
  • obstructed bridge swing in bubble suit
  • toboggan a quarry
  • alcohol absorption chicken
  • tube down an irrigation canal
  • bog running in slowshoes
  • bog scuba diving
  • canyon snorkeling
  • flash flood rocket man
  • first ski descent of Grand Canyon
  • frozen canyoning
  • sewage diving
  • naked crabbing
  • ski/skate a bobsleigh track
  • ski the Lions Bay concrete slide

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